this is a dream that takes place somewhere I’ve dreamed before.
it starts out with buying things and playing games- going to the mall, playing baseball. I’m with other people, but I’m not aware of their appearances or identities. I see things that I want to buy, but don’t get anything (wrong size, not enough money, things like that).
then a subtle transition to playing baseball- the field and surroundings are a violet-red color. it’s hard to see anything beyond the field, and a little difficult to realize anything else exists while you’re in the space. we start playing the game. the bases are far from each other, so far that you can’t see someone standing one base away from you. some of us are huddled at the home run base, talking a little bit and watching others play. there’s an animal spirit (or is it real?) interfering in the game, making the mood less than ideal.
we realize we’re in danger, and we take the car to get away. (note that I’m not really sure who “we” is, just that I’m not alone, and that I’ve been talking to someone) we stop at what looks like a supermarket from the outside, but as soon as we walk in, we realize it’s not a supermarket at all, but some kind of corrupt headquarters.
we’re separated. I fight my way through a huge, deep tournament pit and manage to take down 50(?) soldiers. something’s on my mind, and I’m being criticized. I try to ignore it.
I keep walking through the headquarters. somewhere along the way, one of “them” that I had been spending time with joins me, but I don’t make a big deal out of it. he’s like a fatherly figure to me, but not my actual father. we enter a wide space, and realize the sudden urgency to leave it.
we rush over to the left side of the room, where there’s an elevator. it opens, and a solemn-faced gentleman asks us if we’re going up. I have a bad feeling about this, recalling that the last time this had happened, going up on the elevator had turned out poorly. so I tell the gentleman, “no”, and the fatherly figure and I rush to the right door, passing by a barred open space.
the right door leads to a staggering amount of wide white stairs. we climb about half of them before I get tired and he starts carrying me on his back. I’m feeling like I’ve been drugged, and I’m only half lucid. he’s talking to me all the while.
we get to the top, and someone wearing loosely-draped white cloth greets us. since we took this path, one of us is going to have to be a sacrifice. I’ve gotten off the guy’s back by now. he’s sitting in a chair, and I get on his lap.
I’m begging him to not sacrifice himself, and holding him very close. my lips are maybe half a centimeter from his. he starts to ask me the nature of my feelings for him, but then he realizes. he doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t push me away either.
and then suddenly someone else we know appears. the threat is gone, or at least the white-wearing person is gone, and it’s just this person we know, looking at us in this compromising position and judging us.
this person we know asks us what we’re doing, so I tell them we were about to get sacrificed. they understand, and I stand up, vaguely feeling that something’s wrong, but also wanting to protect my true feelings from this person we know’s judgment. although the person I was sitting on wasn’t my father or related to me at all, for some reason, a relationship of the type I was seeking was highly inappropriate. and so I keep my heart to myself.
I wake up feeling dissatisfied.
